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Posts Tagged ‘Louwie’

Het `n besige tyd beleef die afgelope maand. Waar ander ouens pub crawling doen vir pret en plesier, doen ons mos spreekkamer en hospitaal besoeke vir ontspanning, kan jy maar sê. Beide tydverdrywe is ewe riskant, maar elkeen het ook sy eie voordele. Na `n hewige drinksessie vergeet jy vir `n wyle van jou probleme en ontspan jy effens, dis immers waarom in die kroeg is. By die hospitaal werk dit ook so, as jy daar uitloop met al die stapel x-strale, scans en bloedtoetse onder die blad en die dokter het jou gesond verklaar, dan ontspan jy ook so effens, maar nie te veel nie want jy weet, net soos die drinker se onafwendbare hoofpyn wat soos klokslag toeslaan, net so gaan die stapel rekenings ook opdaag en eis om betaal te word. Die lewe werk so; daar is nie pret sonder pyn nie.
Die drinker se voordeel is dat sy tydelike gevoel van vrede in die kroeg hom aansienlik minder kos as die gemoedsrus wat jou R150,000+ se stapel doktersverslae jou kos.
Uiteindelik verskil die twee tydverdrywe nie veel van mekaar nie. By die kroeg kan jy in `n geveg betrokke raak wat jou in die hospitaal kan laat opeindig, terwyl die dokter en hospitaal se rekeninge jou weer in die kroeg kan laat beland.
Die ding van die crawling spree (as ons in Amerika was kon mens dit seker die Obama Care Crawling genoem het, en in Engeland sou dit die NHS-crawling kon wees. Hier by ons is dit die Zuma-does not-care crawling?) kom so: Ons vat my erge pyn dokter toe, en dit werk weer amper soos daardie musical chair speletjie behalwe dat jy sonder musiek vir meer as `n uur lank op een stoel sit en wag – eers op `n stoel by ontvangs, dan op `n ander stoel voor die dokter se deur, dan op die stoel voor sy lessenaar, dan op `n stoel by die hospitaal se ontvangs en teen daardie tyd is jy regtig nie meer lus vir speel nie, jy wil huis toe gaan. (meer…)

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Hierdie boek is nou ook beskikbaar by Barnes & Noble, Kobo en iTunes.
Vir die van julle wat nie `n Kindle besit nie en dus nie van Amazon kan aflaai nie, is dit nou beskikbaar in ePub format by al bogenoemde boekwinkels.
Die gedrukte weergawe sal eersdaags beskikbaar wees.
Hierdie storie is `n speurverhaal wat nie regtig `n speurverhaal is nie. As jy daarvan hou om speurverhale vir ontspanning te lees moet jy liewer by Deon Meyer hou, die man skryf uitstekende speurverhale, van die beste wat in Afrikaans beskikbaar is.
Water in Wyn in Bloed is eerder vir die denkende mens wat vrae vra oor die lewe, oor moraliteit, oor kerk, oor wat ons as ‘normaal’ beskou in ons abnormale samelewing.
Dit mag dalk skok, en jy sal moontlik met meer vrae as antwoorde sit na jy die boek gelees het. Die hoop is dat dit jou sal help om buite die boks te dink en ongebaande weë te begin ondersoek.
Lees en geniet.

Kliek die skakels hieronner om die boek te koop.

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Bosveld

Ons staan skuins na 4 die oggend op en ry bosveld toe. Die son steek sy kop uit toe ons by Kranskop verby ry.

 

Ons en die rietbokkies geniet ontbyt voor die werk begin.

En toe begin die dag in alle erns

Chopper 44 en die arts met sy pylgeweer

Blesbokke word een vir een verdoof en aangery na die boma

Terwyl hulle slaap word daar met hulle gewerk, en dan word hulle weer wakker hemaak.

En nou het hulle net 35 dae, en dan is dit die einde van die pad vir 16 van hulle … ter wille van die wetenskap.

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(Continue reading from previous post)

The next morning the healthy dead man was wheeled off to the operating theatre. While waiting in line for his turn to be poked at form the outside and spied on from the inside, he was informed that a small monitor would be implanted under his skin somewhere over his heart. This gave rise to fierce betting between two theatre nurses over the shivering body of our zombie under the theatre lights, as to where exactly the doctor was going to do the implant. Our brave Mr Reg Shoe suggested they each make a cross with a pen on where they thought the implant should be done.

When the doctor arrived and boldly inserted the device, the male nurse joyfully shouted ‘I won. You owe me a decent meal at a decent restaurant!’ The doctor was not impressed, but high-fived the winner and moved to the nether regions of my recently-back-from-the-dead companion.

The anaesthetist explained to my zombie that he was not going to put him to sleep, but that he was going to give him a little shot of some good stuff to make him happy and relaxed so he could enjoy the show of his insides on the monitor. A camera probe was inserted in an artery in his thigh and moved all the way to his heart where the doctor joyfully pointed out to his happy patient that the repair work to the inlet and outlet manifolds of the pump during the previous bypass operation was still in mint condition and could thus not have been the reason for his cardiac arrest this time. He pointed to a small, crooked artery in between the previously repaired ones and said that that one was blocked, and it could have been the culprit giving the surgeon the fright of his life. And then the cardiologist abruptly left the theatre and stayed away for a very long time, which caused some panic in the mind of the living dead on the operating table.

When the doctor casually returned a while later, he said the artery was too small and crooked to put a stens in and with that he removed his probe, stitched up the thigh and left, never to be seen again by me or my Mr Reg Shoe, not even when we were discharged from the hospital the next day.

After the operation, the anaesthetists told us that, while the doctor was moving his probe upwards through the belly of the beast, so to speak, he looked at the area where my moron said the original pain came from. And said he, the doctor had some good news and some bad news. The bad news was that one of the ribs will have to be removed, the good news was that they could create a new wife for him from the rib. In unison, me and my zombie cried NO THANK YOU! We can barely handle one of them. We do not want an extra one.

When the good wife came by we mentioned to her the proposition that was made to us by the doctor. Contrary to expectations the good wife was elated, provided that the new wife took over cooking, cleaning and sex. With that the Zombie almost shot out of bed to go tell the doctor to proceed with the operation.  I calmed him down and pointed out to him that, being a zombie, and an old one at that, we could expect some vital parts of his body to start falling off in the foreseeable future. Considering such a prospect, we decided not to accept the generous offer because a clean house was very much overrated in any case.

And now we are back home. We hit the ground running and haven’t stopped since. The work will not wait for you to die, said my moron réanimé who is grudgingly sporting his original pain in the side for which he seeked medical help and was, at phenomenal cost, rewarded with a score of new pains added for his trouble. He is not a happy man, but being sad will not make it go away, he says.

If he was a cat, I am sure he’d by now be close to, or living his 9th and final life. And I was just beginning to like the moron.

And so, stuffed with painkillers (including the green FECO variety), he is happily trotting along to the finishing line. I, the famous Red Cap will keep you posted on our beloved Mr R Shoe’s hazy progress down the hill to oblivion.

 

“When we believe what we think, when we take our thinking to be reality, we will suffer.”

Adyashanti: Falling into Grace

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WATER IN WYN IN BLOED

“En ons het almal gedink sy sou van die stapel afklim nadat sy dit self van bo af met petrol deurweek en aan die brand gesteek het,” sê die man met die lang jas. Vir ’n lang tyd heers daar ’n doodse stilte onder die groepie begrafnisgangers onder die man met die jas se boom. In almal se gedagtes staan die strak prentjie van ’n lyk op ’n brandstapel deur vlamme omhul en ’n rookpluim wat die lug in spiraal, terwyl ’n sagte, suiwer sopraan die aria “Vissi d’arte” uit Tosca van Puccini uit die rook en vlamme vanaf die brandstapel sing:

Die boek is nou beskikbaar by Amazon vir Kindle lesers. Dit kan ook deur die App “Kindle for PC’s” op jou rekenaar afgelaai word.

Volg die skakel: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B073GXQZNM/

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Ek sal julle op hoogte hou van wanneer die boek beskikbaar sal wees.

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Voorblad van my nuwe boek. Dit sal een van die dae beskikbaar wees by Amazon. Hou hierdie spasie dop.

Voorblad ontwerp deur Hannelie.

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