Feeds:
Bydraes
Kommentare

Archive for the ‘Louwie’ Category

 

Gaan loop ons vinnig n draai terug die geskiedenis in. Lank gelede toe ons nog kinders was, het ons soms oor Kersfees by Waterval naby Zeerust gaan uitkamp. Dit was, soos n kind maar onthou deur sy kleurvolle verbeelding, n wonderlike plek met n rivier, hemel hoë kranse, groot waterkuile en rotsbanke waarvandaan ons kordaat afgeduik het soos op die foto bo gesien kan word. Dit was destyds, baie lank gelede.

Soms het ons die tente en eetgoed met die ou Farmall trekker en sleepwa aangery as ons n week of langer gekamp het.

Toe gaan ons kyk of die plek nog lyk soos dit meer as 50 jaar gelede gelyk het.

Deur Google spoor ons Bokkraal Waterfall Valley op en bespreek terstond plek vir die naweek. Mens het al vergeet hoe vêr Zeerust van Johannesburg af is! Mens het ook vergeet dis Afrika dié. Die teerpaaie is nie wonderlik nie en die grondpaaie is n saak vir 4×4 rygoed, veral as dit nat is. Net duskant Magalliesburg kry ons n padblokkade en word deur die polisie beveel om n ompad te ry want by die plakkerskamp verder die pad af brand en breek dit in voorverkiesings jolyt onder aanvoering van jy weet wie (n leidraad … hulle dra rooi kepsies). (meer…)

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Befriending a tumour

Day -29 Report by the Red Cap

So, here we are, me and my “dummkopf” companion, trying to come to grips with the doctor’s diagnosis and verdict: “You cannot escape this one. You can postpone it for a short while, but we have to remove the tumour or else you will end up in a wheelchair.”

Like a pregnant teenage girl, you cannot run away from this one. So, what do we do? We can rage, we can cry, we can pray, we can go and sit in a corner and feel sorry for ourselves, but we know none of this will make the evil thing sitting pretty in the 8th Thoracic vertebra (or T – 8) go away.

The only alternative is to accept it, to accept “what is”, to accept life in both its good times and its inevitable bad times. Nobody ever promised you only good times in your life. If that is what you hope for you are a fool. Pain is inevitable, (psychological) suffering as a result of physical pain is optional. (“There is no birth of consciousness without pain” said  Carl Gustav Jung).

We decided on the alternative; to accept the diagnosis and acknowledge the blighter causing the problem. We will befriend it/him/her. We will talk to it/him/her. We will be mindful of its presence day and night, and we will talk to it, calm it down and try to decipher the message it is trying to convey to us … if there be such a veiled message in this messy and painful affair.

And that is indeed what we are doing. What started out as a very painful, at times even unbearable suffering about three years ago, has turned into a new way of being, a new way of doing life. The way it used to work was; Little Tommy Tumour would wake us up at three in the morning with a pain so severe that it left my poor moron friend nauseous and on the verge of screaming in torturous frustration. The ritual then was to grumble and moan and turn from side to side and hope that the pain will miraculously go away. After about ten minutes of this the help of painkillers (even morphine) was called on. The only thing to do after the painkillers were taken was to wait for the numbing effect to kick in, and then followed a restless sleep till morning.

But after the last visit to the good doctor we decided on the new strategy, we started to befriend little Tommy Tumour. We started to talk to him and started to feel grateful for waking us up at three or four in the morning. Every morning now we say good morning Tommy, thanks for waking us up. We see that you are not feeling too well again this morning. You are kicking and screaming down there, begging for your meds but we must take care that you do not get hooked on the stuff. Hang in there, we will get to that in good time.

Then we quietly get up and go to the spare bedroom so we will not disturb the other people in the house. Here we will walk up and down, five paces North and the five paces South up and down, all the time talking to the our little obstinate friend until the pain subsides enough for step two in the ritual which is to sit down on a low folding chair with a cushion on it and start to meditate for the next fifteen or twenty, or even sixty minutes.

And that is why we are so grateful towards Tommy. He is indeed affording us a time to be still, a time to contemplate and to meditate, a way to live more consciously during each day. This must be the brutal kind of grace that Adyashanti is talking about all the time. Or maybe the Gnostic Jung’s Abraxis in action. We are going with the flow, not resisting “that which is”.

We talk to him all day. We told him that we are impressed by his cleverness to divert the pain away from himself by kicking the old man in the right side just below the liver, causing pain in the whole area and implicating respectively the liver, then the pancreas and then the colon as the bad guys in the story and in this way fooling the doctors who scanned, x-rayed, poked and even peeked with a camera inside the colon and stomach  for two years before they could find the real culprit sitting high up in the spinal column while causing havoc way down below its nesting place.

We told him that he has been caught in the act, accused and tried justly and the unanimous verdict of the jury of a specialist panel of doctors was death by surgical removal for causing harm to, and attempted murder of his host. We assured him that we do not hold any grudges against him, in fact we will try to make the rest of his stay as comfortable as possible by supplying enough drugs to keep him happy.

This weekend we are taking him/it on vacation. We are going to an old haunt of the family. They used to go there over the Christmas holidays about 50 years back!! Bokkraal is the name of the resort/hide-out. The is a small waterfall, deep valleys, huge rock formations and deep natural pools to swim in.

I will keep you updated on the progress of my companion and his new friend Tommy Tumour.

 

Read Full Post »

 

Beethoven: Ode to Joy

The Red Cap

First report on the well-being of of my ageing companion and notorious pain in the butt.

We seem to be entering a new chapter in the life of my moron friend and companion, the insufferable wannabe author/philosopher and seeker after truth. And I, the famous Red Cap must duly inform you that I have enacted a swift and decisive coup here on this WordPress site and will from now on be your sole informant on the physical and mental well-being of my aforementioned moron and companion.

The reason for this drastic step was necessitated  by the onset of a slight disturbance in the emotional, mental and physical stability of the poor sod I call my friend and tormentor for reasons we will come to shortly. I do believe that I am at this pivotal stage of our entangled existence the only one qualified to bring you factual information, unencumbered by emotional and irrational  mental upheavals, about the existential, spiritual and physical challenges that might lay ahead for us in the coming weeks.

A brief history of how we got to this little bump in the road, a road I might add that has seen some major bumps from the day of conception some 70 years ago up till this very moment in time.

Since 2012 (AD, not BC!) the man has been complaining of aches and pains, which was (given the age and state of his battered old body) not taken too seriously by himself or the doctors, but he was nevertheless poked at, x-rayed, scanned and peeked at from all angles. Eventually his gall bladder was removed which almost killed the poor sod. But the pain persisted and after more than R300,000 was spent on further medical examinations in the search for the cause of the ghostly pains, the search was abandoned and a regimen of painkillers ranging from morphine to Grandpa Powders to other illegal substances were initiated to keep the old man going from day to day.

This went on until last week when persistent  and almost unbearable pain that resulted in sleepless nights for the old man, demanded a final assault on the devilishly evasive cause of the un-wellness of my already mentally and psychologically unwell companion.

We went to see a specialist neurosurgeon. My neurotic companion complained that it was a total waste of money to go sprawl naked under some exotic lights in the presence of some lovely but strange young women. (from that remark it is not difficult to deduce that my old man is indeed a very old man).

So he posed this way and that way in front of the x-ray machine, then he was sent into that infamous white tunnel thing that goes humm and haa and bee-beep. Then he was wheeled out of the tunnel, given an injection and wheeled back in again.

Lovely people at the hospital. From the doctor’s rooms to the hospital and theaters the service rendered was excellent. We applaud you one and all.

From the good doctor we received the good news, and the bad.

The good news is that we now know what the cause of all the pain is.

The bad news is that the culprit in the whole drama is a tumor (about 16x12mm) right next to the spinal cord, or as it is stated in the report: “Extramedullary intradural lesion demonstrated at the level of T8 vertebral body demonstrating mass effect upon the thoracic spinal cord from postero-laterally, right off the midline.” These very clever people keep on amazing me, I mean, is this exposition of the diagnoses not almost poetic?

Just listen to the concluding statement: “T8 vertebral body level extramedullary intradural contrast enhancing lesion situated to the right of the midline and posterolateral to the thoracic cord with anterolateral displacement to the left of the thoracic spinal cord with resultant spinal canal stenosis at level of T8 vertebra body.

So that is the bad news delivered in the most beautiful language.

The good news is that the Evil thing can be removed  using microscopes and modern robotics and a very steady hand …. and lots of praying and chanting and burning of incense.

The bad news is that the operation will be painful, that the old man might have a problem walking again after the operation and will have to go for rehab (not THAT kind of rehab, not yet) to get him up and running again, and he might have a problem with incontinence for a while (this last warning caused the old man some grave concern and loud protestations because he believed the doctor to have said “impotence”).

This all happened on Friday and the good doctor wanted to schedule the operation for Sunday, but my dick-headed know it all moron decided that he has got a lot of work lined up till the end of April that MUST be done, after which he will gladly go to the hospital, take his clothes off once again and like a lamb to the slaughter will he offer himself up into the hands of the master.

And so, the operation is now irrevocably (death excluded) scheduled for Monday the 29th   day of April 2019.

To end this first report by me the Famous Red Cap on the well-being  of my pupil, companion, sometimes asshole and sometimes … well almost friend, I give you the final conclusion on the diagnoses based on scans as penned down by the doctor at MRI.

This is pure prose, almost an ode to a tumor. The man should quit his current job, dump his Ferrari and start writing books!

In conclusion: “The radiological findings are suggestive of a nerve sheath tumor (schwannoma or neurofibroma), although an atypical meningioma and extramedullary intradural metastasis from an unknown primary cannot be excluded,”

Friedrich Nietzsche once said that “Sickness liberated me slowly:” I can only hope that this episode or sickness which dumped the old man into a new existential crisis will eventually liberate him in the same way, for heaven knows, he needs liberation from himself desperately.

Read Full Post »

Mary Oliver

“How I Go to the Woods”:

Ordinarily, I go to the woods alone, with not a single

friend, for they are all smilers and talkers and therefore

unsuitable.

 

I don’t really want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds

or hugging the old black oak tree. I have my way of

praying, as you no doubt have yours.

 

Besides, when I am alone I can become invisible. I can sit

on the top of a dune as motionless as an uprise of weeds,

until the foxes run by unconcerned. I can hear the almost

unhearable sound of the roses singing.

 

If you have ever gone to the woods with me, I must love

you very much.

 

Read Full Post »

ESCOM

Die groot duisternis.

Terwyl Escom die ons lewens in duisternis dompel weens totale onbevoegdheid en grypsug, doen die natuur sy eie ding daar buite, en word ons, sonder dat ons hoef te vra of daarop aan te dring, getrakteer op `n weergalose skouspel.

Die son sak skouspelagtig oor Kempton Park terwyl Afrika sukkel om moderne tegnologie baas te raak.

Daar is nog mooi en goed en reg daar buite ten spyte van politieke kwaadwilligheid en onvermoë, mens moet jouself maar net oopstel en kyk. Life is still good.

Frangipanies (?) in ons tuin

Read Full Post »

THE FUJI DECLARATION

Awakening The Divine Spark In The Spirit Of Humanity

For a Civilization of Oneness with Diversity on Planet Earth

A new phase in the evolution of human civilization is on the horizon. With deepening states of crisis bringing unrest to all parts of the world, there is a growing need for change in our ways of thinking and acting. We now have the choice of either spiraling into deepening peril, or breaking through to a world of dignity and wellbeing for all.

Throughout its history, humanity has beenguided primarily by a aterial consciousness. Fearing scarcity, we have continued to pursue material gain beyond necessity, taking from others and depleting the Earth’s natural resources. If our aspirations continue to focus only on what is material and finite, our world will face inevitable destruction.

What is our true nature?

In order to make more enlightened choices and change the course of our history, we need to return to the basic question concerning human life. Each and every one of us must ask, “What is our true nature?” and seek a meaningful and responsible answer.

The great spiritual traditions of the world have always been telling us that, at its root, human life is inextricably linked to its universal source. Today, the latest advances in the physical and life sciences reaffirm this perennial insight. When we rediscover our connections to nature and the cosmos, we can re-align our life with the universal movement toward oneness and harmony in and through diversity. We can restore the divine spark in the human spirit and bring forth our innate love, compassion, wisdom, and joy to live a flourishing life. The time has come for every one of us to awaken the divine spark that resides in our heart.

 THE FUJI DECLARATION

Awakening The Divine Spark In The Spirit Of Humanity

For a Civilization of Oneness with Diversity on Planet Earth

 

What is the purpose of our existence?

We have been born at a critical juncture in history, in a world in transition, where it is possible to guide the advancement of humankind toward peace on Earth. Living peace and enabling peace to prevail on Earth is the ultimate purpose for all of us. We can and must embrace it in every sphere of our existence.

By living consciously and responsibly, we can draw upon our inherent freedom and power to shape our destiny and the destiny of umankind. Our task is to collaboratively create a world of dignity and compassion that unfolds the full potential of the human spirit—a world in which every individual gives expression to his or her highest self, in service to the human family and the whole web of life on the planet.

Toward a new civilization

It is imperative to bring together individuals from diverse fields—scientists, artists, politicians, business leaders, and others—to create a solid multidimensional foundation for catalyzing a timely shift in the course of history. The time has come for all people to become courageous pioneers—to venture beyond their personal, cultural, and national interests and beyond the boundaries of their discipline, and to come together in wisdom, spirit and intention for the benefit of all people in the human family. By so doing, we can overcome the hold of obsolete ideas and outdated behaviors in today’s unsustainable world and design a more harmonious and flourishing civilization for the coming generations.

The paradigm of the new civilization

The paradigm of the new civilization is a culture of oneness with respect for diversity. Just as the myriad cells and diverse organs of our body are interconnected by their oneness and work together in harmony for the purpose of sustaining our life, so each and every living thing is an intrinsic part of the larger symphony of life on this planet. With the conscious recognition that we are all a part of a living universe consisting of great diversity yet embracing unity, we will co-evolve with one another and with nature through a network of constructive and coherent relationships.

THE FUJI DECLARATION

  1. Affirming the Light of Consciousness Within All Beings

We affirm the divine spark in the heart and mind of every human being and intend to live by its light in every sphere of our existence.

2. Commitment to Creating Lasting Peace on Earth

We commit ourselves to fulfilling our shared mission of creating lasting peace on Earth through our ways of living and acting.

3. Intention to Live and Act on Behalf of all Life

We intend to live and act so as to enhance the quality of life and the well-being of all forms of life on the planet, recognizing that all living things in all their diversity are interconnected and are one.

4. Freeing the Human Spirit for Deep Creativity

We will continually strive to free the human spirit for deep creativity, and to nurture the transformation necessary to forge a new paradigm in all spheres of human activity, including economics, science, medicine, politics, business, education, religion, the arts, communications and the media.

5. Mission to Advance a Harmonious Human Civilization

We shall make it our mission to design, communicate and implement a more spiritual and harmonious civilization—a civilization that enables humankind to realize its inherent potential and advance to the next stage of its material, spiritual, and cultural evolution.

 

We can continue with the madness and kill each other, or we can sign this declaration, frame it and display it for the world to see, and then go out and live it to help make the world a better place for all.

Read Full Post »

Dated Clouds

Annie Dillard se “Dated Clouds” bly telkens by my opkom. Sy skryf in haar boek “For the Time Being” van John Constable se twee skilderye van Brighton Beach, een van 1824 toe sy vrou siek geword het, en die ander een van 1828 toe sy vrou dood is. Dan maak sy die opmerking dat John se twee skilderye nog met ons is, maar dat nie een van John of sy vrou nog met ons is nie.

Shoreham-Bay-Near-Brighton,-1824    The-Coast-At-Brighton-Stormy-Evening,-C.1828

Foto links is Brighton Beach 1924 en regs is 1928

Alles is verganklik, maar sommige goed is meer verganklik as ander?

Ons ry vroeg oggend af Laeveld toe op Woensdag 6 Maart 2019. Malelane is die eindbestemming. Net anderkant die eerste tolhek anderkant Witbank/Emma-hy-wil-nie-lê-nie of wat ook al, staan die verkeer dood stil. Dit is 07:19 en almal is ongeduldig. Voor in die pad is rooi ligte van ambulanse en `n brandweer of twee.

Toe ons uiteindelik verby die ongelukstoneel beweeg sien ons twee verfrommelde bakkies in die pad, en langs die pad, onder teen die wal van `n spruit `n groot verpletterde vragmotor en sleepwa en houtpale wat die wêreld vol lê, en `n baie plat, baie dooie jakkals lê langs die pad.

Volgens wat mens van die toneel kan aflei het die ongeluk soos volg verloop: Die (60 ton?) vragmotor kom met sy vrag houtpale teen `n redelik hoë spoed teen die afdraande af gery in die heel linkerkantse baan van die snelweg in `n oostelike rigting (m.a.w. in Pretoria se rigting). Skielik hardloop daar `n jakkals van links na regs oor die pad, die bestuurder skrik en swaai die vragmotor na regs om die jakkals nie te tref nie. Die jakkals skrik sy gat af en hou vir dood en lewe aan om die pad oor te steek. Die bestuurder verloor beheer oor die vragmotor, tref die jakkals en ry hom so plat soos `n Nando hoender.

Toe ploeg die vragmotor deur die grasbaan en kabel versperring tussen die twee rybane en tref die twee bakkies wat niks vermoedend in `n westelike rigting op pad was.

Ons weet nie of daar nog karre of bakkies saam met die vragmotor die dieptes in is nie. Ons weet ook nie hoeveel ander slagoffers daar was behalwe die jakkals nie. Dat mense baie seer gekry het is duidelik aan die aantal ambulanse wat aankom en weer wegry van die toneel af. Hoeveel dood is weet ons nie.

Nou wonder mens hoe toevallig so `n ongeluk nou was?

Ek onthou van `n soortgelyke voorval lank gelede naby Bethlehem in die Vrystaat (nie Dillard se Bethlehem in Israel nie). Daar was dit mense wat op pad see toe was vir vakansie. Net buite die dorp kry hulle vriende op pad en hulle hou stil om gou onder `n boom te sit en koffie drink, te bid vir `n voorspoedige reis en te groet voor hulle verder ry.

Terwyl hulle so sit en gesels kom `n vragmotor om die skerp draai ook so teen `n afdraande af. Die bestuurder verloor beheer oor die vragmotor en ry die wat daar onder die boom gesit en koffie drink het mors dood. Net een oorleef om die verhaal te vertel.

Dan onthou ek ook van ons bure, Rita en Raymond Cave. Iewers op pad in digte mis raak hulle motor onklaar. Hulle stuur die kinderoppasser en hulle drie klein kindertjies `n ent weg van die pad af die veld in om hulle veilig te hou terwyl hulle by die kar staan en wag op hulp. `n Groot vragmotor kom verby, raak die pad byster in die mis, jaag die veld in en ry al die kinders en die kinderoppasser dood.

Nou vra ek jou, hoeveel beplanning het so `n pynlik presies uitgewerkte ongeluk vooraf gegaan?

Tyd: moontlik presies 0700 uur die oggend van 6 Maart 2019. Plek: 5 kilometer anderkant die Tol Plaza. Oorsaak: Jakkals steek die pad oor. Betrokkenes: (Onskuldige) Vragmotor en bestuurder en twee bakkies en hulle insittendes (wat ons van weet).

Langtermyn beplanning.

Omtrent 13.8 biljoen jaar gelde gebeur die “Big Bang” en die kosmos begin te vorm.

Omtrent 1.6 biljoen jaar gelede slaan `n weerligstraal `n poel water of soutsuur raak en die eerste vorm van lewe (Mitokondria) ontstaan.

Min of meer 1.2 biljoen jaar gelede word die eerste organismes deur seks verwek (Bangiomorpha pubescens).

Omtrent 250,000 jaar gelede (na baie draaie as onder meer Homo erectus ens.) maak ons voorvaders, die Neandertal sy verskyning en toe volg ons as Homo sapiens in hulle spore.

Fast foreward na Woensdag 6 Maart 2019 … 13.8 biljoen jaar na die BB. Na baie seks en voortplanting en die oordra van bepaalde gene en DNA is `n paar individue, nasate van Miss Plet en Kro Magnon Man (en Adam en Eva ook nog iewers in die prentjie) op die N4 in teenoorgestelde rigtings op pad. Kilometer vir kilometer, en sekonde vir sekonde snel hulle na mekaar toe, en iewers langs die pad draf `n jakkals op pad na sy gat (en moontlik `n werpsel kleintjies) toe.

Word daar iewers dramatiese musiek gespeel terwyl die drama hom afspeel? Is daar werklik, volgens die ou paradigma “Iemand” wat gespanne sit en toekyk hoe die voertuie op hulle noodlotspad na mekaar toe snel? “Iemand” Alomteenwoordig, Alwetend, Almagtig daar “Bo” iewers wat saam met ons die donderende knal van vernietiging hoor?

“Nevertheless the dauntless spirit of science burns bright and clear in everyone who sees that to disappear as a particular thing is to reappear instantly as the No-thing that is the imperishable Home of all that perishes, and that to die now is to die never” Douglas E. Harding, Look for Yourself.

Die Jakkals hardloop, die vragmotor swaai … dit was fyn beplan oor biljoene jare.

Ons ry verder. Dit is `n oortrokke maar warm dag. Donderwolke begin opsteek in die ooste en mis hang oor die bergtoppe. Ons weet nie of ons dopgehou word nie, ons weet nie wat vir ons beplan word nie. Ons spoed voort, vertoef `n wyle op `n plaas anderkant Malelane en ry dan weer terug na Johannesburg en kom om 16:04 veilig by die huis.

Ons het nie `n skildery van die wolke soos hulle op 6 Maart 2019 oor die Laeveld gelyk het nie, maar ons het foto’s van die hulle. Die foto’s sal vir `n lang tyd in ons rekenaars gestoor word. Die jakkals en moontlik een of meer van die slagoffers van die ongeluk is nie meer met ons nie.

Dated clouds: 6 Maart 2019, nege minute oor twaalf op `n Woendag middag net anderkant Nelspruit

“It took me no time at all to notice that this nothing, this hole where a head should have been was no ordinary vacancy, no mere nothing. On the contrary, it was very much occupied. It was a vast emptiness vastly filled, a nothing that found room for everything – room for grass, trees, shadowy distant hills, and far above them snowpeaks like a row of angular clouds riding the blue sky. I had lost a head and gained a world.” Douglas Harding, On Having No Head: Seeing One’s Original Nature.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »

%d bloggers like this: